When families prepare for portraits, most moms worry about one thing:
The kids.
Will they cooperate?
Will they smile?
Will they last longer than five minutes?
After photographing families for more than seven years, I’ve learned something surprising. The biggest factor in how a family session goes usually isn’t the kids.
It’s Dad.
Kids are incredibly tuned in to their parents’ energy. If Dad is relaxed, playful, and willing to go along with the process, the kids almost always follow his lead. When Dad is engaged and having fun, the whole session feels easy. When he isn’t…the kids notice that, too.
A Quick Story
I once photographed a family where Mom mentioned ahead of time that the kids might be a little hesitant about photos. When they arrived, Dad immediately said something like: “Let’s just get this over with.”
That small comment set the tone.
We started the session the way I always do: walking, playing, laughing, letting the kids warm up and have fun. Within minutes, the kids were smiling and relaxed, and we captured some beautiful candid moments.
But shortly after, Dad shifted the focus to “shut up and smile” right away.
The change was immediate. The kids’ energy dropped. They became quiet and withdrawn. They were mirroring the mood around them. The rest of the session felt heavy, and we wrapped up sooner than usual. Some of the shots Mom had hoped for didn’t happen. Dad blamed the kids.
But it wasn’t the kids’ fault. Children almost always follow the emotional tone set by their parents.
Why Play Comes First
Many parents expect family photos to start with everyone standing still and smiling at the camera. But with young kids, that approach rarely works.
Instead, I intentionally begin sessions with movement and play. This helps kids relax, build trust, and realize that the photo session is actually fun. Once that happens, the “smiling at the camera” photo becomes much easier.
In fact, I usually save that photo until a third or even halfway through the session, after the kids are already having a good time.
What To Expect During a Family Portrait Session
Family sessions with me often include prompts like:
- walking together
- running and laughing
- tickling
- Simon Says
- the telephone game
- swinging kids in the air
These playful moments create the natural smiles and connection that make family photos feel joyful instead of forced. And yes…we will absolutely take a classic smiling photo, too.
But the play helps us get there.
How Moms Can Help Prepare Dad
Most dads simply don’t know what to expect from a modern family photo session. A little preparation can make a huge difference.
Here are a few ways to help set everyone up for success:
1. Let Him Know It Won’t Be All Posing
Family sessions today are much more relaxed than many dads expect. There will be movement, games, and lots of interaction. Think of it less like a formal portrait and more like spending time together while I photograph it.
2. Ask Him to Trust the Process
It can feel counterintuitive when we start with play instead of “the photo.” But this warm-up is intentional. It helps kids relax so the portraits feel natural rather than forced.
Trusting the process is one of the biggest ingredients for a successful session.
3. Remind Him the Kids Are Watching
Children mirror their parents’ emotions. If Dad is smiling, laughing, and willing to participate, the kids will almost always follow his lead. If Dad is impatient or clearly waiting for the session to end, the kids will pick up on that, too.
4. Frame It as Family Time
Instead of thinking about it as “taking photos,” it can help to think of it as a short window of focused family time. The goal isn’t perfection.
The goal is capturing your family as you are right now.
The Secret to Great Family Photos
The best family sessions happen when everyone approaches the experience with the same mindset:
We’re here to have fun together.
When that happens, the smiles are real, the kids stay engaged, and the images feel full of life. And the good news? Kids are naturally great at having fun.
They just need the adults to lead the way.
A Quick Dad Pep Talk
Dad, this part is for you.
Family photo sessions don’t have to be stiff, awkward, or something to “get through.” In fact, the best sessions feel more like playing outside with your kids while someone happens to be taking photos.
Your job isn’t to force smiles or rush everyone along.
Your job is simple:
- Be playful
- Be patient
- Go along with the games
- Trust the process
When you’re relaxed and having fun, your kids will follow your lead. And those genuine moments are what create the photos your family will treasure for years. So if you’re wondering how to help the session go well…
Just show up ready to have a little fun.
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